80 lines
No EOL
4.2 KiB
C#
80 lines
No EOL
4.2 KiB
C#
namespace MossyUpdater.Services
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{
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public class QuotesService : IQuotesService
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{
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private readonly string[] _quotes = new[]
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{
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"I don't run late. I glide fashionably through time.",
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"Time is a flat circle—and I'm still trying to find the starting point.",
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"Being on time is like spotting a unicorn: rare, beautiful, and definitely not me.",
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"Time zones are a social construct. I operate on instinct.",
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"Every time I try to be early, time responds with traffic.",
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"Time is an illusion. My ETA is performance art.",
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"I treat deadlines like speed limits: suggestions.",
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"I don't set alarms. I set vague intentions.",
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"If you want me to be on time, lie about when it starts.",
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"Why stress about time when you can just embrace chaos?",
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"My to-do list is a historical document.",
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"Time and I broke up. It was toxic.",
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"I'm not late. I'm temporally creative.",
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"'In five minutes' means something different in my language.",
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"I don't track time. I let it track me—poorly.",
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"Time management is easy. Just avoid doing anything.",
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"Time is fleeting. So is my attention span.",
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"I live in the moment. Just never the right one.",
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"Time doesn't control me. It just heavily inconveniences me.",
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"I'm a time optimist: always wrong, always hopeful.",
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"Punctuality is for people who don't trust spontaneity.",
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"My life is a series of missed trains and strong coffee.",
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"If time is a river, I'm definitely upstream without a paddle.",
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"I don't watch the clock. I avoid eye contact with it.",
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"'ASAP' means 'as soon as procrastination ends.'",
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"Early is suspicious. On time is impressive. Late is expected.",
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"Time management? I prefer time improvisation.",
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"I like to keep time on its toes. Mostly by ignoring it.",
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"Alarms are like plot twists. I didn't see it coming, and I still ignore it.",
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"If being late was a sport, I'd already have missed the medal ceremony.",
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"I don't lose track of time. I just pretend it doesn't exist.",
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"Watches are decorative lies.",
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"Time flies. I miss every flight.",
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"My planner is just a coloring book for stress.",
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"I'm not in a hurry. I'm in denial.",
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"I live in the now, just usually a little bit after everyone else.",
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"My calendar and I are estranged, but we're working on it.",
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"The early bird catches the worm. I order food later.",
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"Time moves fast. I move slower.",
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"I was going to be on time, but then I remembered who I am.",
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"I see '9:00 AM' and read it as 'guideline.'",
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"Every plan is a maybe with extra steps.",
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"I don't have time blindness—I just have time indifference.",
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"I'm not late. Reality is early.",
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"Time and I aren't speaking after what happened last Monday.",
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"Being on time is impressive. Being consistently late is a brand.",
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"I'm in sync with the universe—just in a different dimension.",
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"My sense of time is like my sock drawer: chaotic and mostly missing.",
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"Some people chase time. I let it wander off.",
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"I'm not running late. I'm setting the tone for a relaxed experience."
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};
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private int _currentIndex = 0;
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private readonly Random _random = new();
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public string GetRandomQuote()
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{
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var index = _random.Next(_quotes.Length);
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return $"\"{_quotes[index]}\" - Time According to Alex";
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}
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public string GetNextQuote()
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{
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var quote = $"\"{_quotes[_currentIndex]}\" - Time According to Alex";
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_currentIndex = (_currentIndex + 1) % _quotes.Length;
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return quote;
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}
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public IEnumerable<string> GetAllQuotes()
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{
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return _quotes.Select(q => $"\"{q}\" - Time According to Alex");
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}
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}
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} |